God
rest ye merry, gentlemen.. Let nothing you dismay ...Remember, Christ,
our Saviour ,died so you could be a prick on Black Friday......
Why it seems that only yesterday it was Thanksgiving, oh wait...its
still November and the bombardment has already begun.....Ohhhhh Holy
crap...the seasons fast approaching .....Who doesn’t love this old Pagan
holiday? Twenty five days of overplayed tunes, skeeting snow, coughing
in your face cold infested members of the public, and saccharine sweet
“very special” episodes of sitcoms and assorted television specials.
There is no escape, try as you might. So here is my annual collection
of “carols “to cool your roasting chestnuts. Crack open a bottle of
spirits of the season, and pull on your cracker. Give batteries this
season with a note saying “Toys not included” and settle in for a spin
of this....Hazel-Rahs Helliday mixtape 7
1) "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer joins the A-Team" will not be seen today, instead we bring you this sound bite from that classic 80's TV show You Can’t Do That On Television.....ahhhh Moose, I don’t know what I would do without her in my life. ...Uh..oh * looks up*
2) "Christmas ,was better in the 80's" - The Futureheads....it was,wasnt it? Transformers....Atari games.....Am/FM walkman cassette players....
3)"Winter"-The Comateens wont let us leave the 80's just yet in this New Wave nugget of snow
4) Still stuck in the 80's, Agent Cooper wishes you a Merry Christmoose from Twin Peaks
5) "Things Fall Apart"as they always do,especially for Cristina Monet as she sings of haunting, and doomed attempts to find a little Xmess cheer.....in the 80's
6)Sessions presents : A Peter Griffin Christmas
7) "Anmi’s Christmas (Red,Green,Silver,and Gold)" - Cruxshadows Oh.....
my..... goth, it’s a sugary sweet song sung to the lead singers new
baby daughter, who cant help but laugh at her daddy at the end.
8) Invader Zim demands we get back to work as that’s ”Enough Jolly!!”
9) To The Northern Kind, the helliday brings nothing but decking the halls with “Tears and Tinsel”
10) Need to get away from the all those helliday festivities? Then why not take a long car ride with the Sisters of Mercy and be “Driven Like the Snow”
11) Rod Serling tells one of “The magic that can only be found in the Twilight Zone”
12) I’m telling you all it’s a “Santatage” (Otis Reading vs the Beastie Boys vs Run DMC) in this Divide & Kreate Mashup
13) Golden Girl Blanche has a thing for all those men in that red hot sweaty flannel
14)And the Millionaires couldnt agree more as they are just plain Ho HO Hoes in this “Rated X-Mas”
15) Youre a mean one..Homer the Grinch...and youre just ..a little druuuuunk in this Simpsons soundbite
16) Come On, Santa- Raveonettes
17)Nothing says X-Mess like obscene phone calls and murder. Especially on a Black Christmas movie trailer
18)The Killers plead “Don’t Shoot Me Santa”
19)All Gir wants for X-Mess is a barrel of floss, two balls of glue TO BE HIS FRIENDS! And he wants to go dancin', NAKED! Who wouldnt?
20) “All I want for Christmas”- Timbuk3
21) Don't be “Lonely This Christmas”-with Mud in this glam ol time of a tune that sounds like something from a lost Elvis Presley album
22)David Tennent remembers the Christmases of his youth and the disappointment that the presents were never bigger on the inside.
23) Poe does a jazz riff cover of this ...umm...classic?...X-mess tune from everyone’s youth ”Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”
24) Aww isnt that sweet,Roger has been making snow angels...oh wait, no.He’s just passed out...in vomit.... since he’s been “Binge drinking” in this American Dad soundbite.How festive
25)Sherwin Linton reminds us that no one is exempt from the law. Even “Santa Got a DWI”
26)Weird AL wishes you a Merry Christmas in this radio Ident
27)I got nostalgic this season for this Weird Al tune,”Christmas at Ground Zero”. The dance one did to this tune was one hell of a workout
28) The Wise Men visit the wrong manger in Monty Pythons Life of Brian,but hey at least they brought gold ,frankenstein and grrr
29) Stephen Lynch sings of that oft forgotten brother of Jebus, “Craig”.Just think about the feelings of inadequacy one would have if Jebus had been your brother.All that doesnt bother Craig
30) Only 3 days left to do the shopping , 3 days left to fill the stocking, in this assault from the mall music radio ident
31)Elton John sings Ho HO HO(Who’d be a turkey at Christmas?)
32)Only...two more days to do the shopping....two more days to fill the stocking.
33)Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew sing “Merry Christmas, if that’s OK”....sure guys...as long as its not Happy Holidays. Then it’s WAR!
34)One more day .....
35)Kiki and Herb sing “Tonight’s the Kind of Night” where all things come together.
36) The Mall singers wish you a final Merry X-Mess
And so do I ..Happy Hellidays
from
Hazel-Rah
No comments:
Post a Comment