Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Alice Cooper Goes to Hell : The Musical ? Welcome to MY Nightmare....

I have been a fan of Alice Cooper and his music for a long time. The clever lyrics.The horror movie in form of  song.Seriously, whats not to love about a performer who can take a line from the Simpsons and turn it into a rocker like "Can't Sleep,Clowns Will Eat Me"?

          My first, distinct, memory of seeing him in action came via a 1978 episode of the original The Muppet Show where he was the eerie guest having a devil of a good time.

          Already a committed Muppet fan ( I kind of want to start my own Jim Henson based religion so I can be a Pastor of Muppet's) and then you combine that with the spookiness of Halloween? How could I resist?

           Songs of Humor,Horror, and many things Halloween were made to order for my sensibilities even at that young age. It was instant admiration. And like a kid in a candy store, I wanted more.

            Years later I would continue to explore his music ,adding every album to my collection. Finding more reasons to appreciate this "demented, sick, degenerate, barbaric, naughty freako" .One of the records that became an instant classic for me was his 1976 album "Goes to Hell". I loved EVERY song and worn out my first cassette tape.For the longest time, a copy was always in my car.

            On one particular occasion more than two decades ago, on a long drive home, I was listening to a copy of the album and as the miles passed on the highway, my mind began to wander and wonder:What if this album was performed as a musical? Back in its day,Cooper had cancelled the planned tour for the album because of illness. What might have he concocted for the stage?

            I recently found the notes I had written down late that distant evening before the ideas were lost to distraction.Well, what follows, is the first blush collection of random ideas that flowed from my road weary mind. Its by no means a complete story.It lacks dialogue, of which I hadn't given much thought at the time.I just placed the songs in moments.Visual cues.It still needs lots of meat on the bones.Surprised I never did think of a place to slither in a snake.

The overall storyline theme idea is of a child who dreams of going to hell and being punished for the sins he will commit as an adult.


Darkness
We hear the sound of hiss and static as if a needle is at the end of a spinning record.

From darkness, a deep blue light fades in and lights up the back of the stage curtain
The sudden sound of the needle scratching off the record is heard :
a shape of a door opening on the upper left of the curtain is illustrated with a bright white light, that illuminates the silhouette of toys on the floor and a children's bed to the right
(Done with puppetry?)The black silhouette of the figure of a young child is shoved into the "room" joined by the angry voices of parents yelling. The "child" runs to his bed,grabbing a teddy bear off the floor on the way and sits in the bed facing the door,holding the bear in front of himself, while the screaming of the parents continues.

Giant accusatory pointing hands appear over the child's bed.Occasionally poking and prodding the figure of the boy.Punctuating the language,almost as if beating him up with each poke.He uses the bear to defend himself from the pokes, but they still knock him over again and again. Demeaning words and threats begin to echo over one another.Some of these words appear as neon lit comic book "sound effect" emphasis on the curtain.Overlapping each other as they build and build in cacophony to a whitening out the curtain

"Shut up" "Stupid" "Think about what you've done"  "Worthless" "hate you" ",,never been born" "you're nothing nothING NOTHING"   closing with a loud "GO ..TO....BED" (but joined by an echo that also ends with the word "hell" in the background) 

*DOOR SLAM*

Room is returned to the blue and quiet of night.

The low crying of the child can be heard.Rocking with the teddy bear. quiet child's voice"  gonna run away.....hurt no more......goodbye mom and dad....." then silence

The opening bass of the song "Go to Hell" slowly begins...bum,badoo....*beat"......again  , bum badoo......
.....along with a pulsating to the beat red light that appears to be coming from under his bed.

again...bum,badoo....bum,badoo.....

the song starts to grow....and continue with out ceasing

The silhouette of the child can be seen climbing off and then looking under the bed.
He follows the song under the bed and as he does,the silhouette of a gothic staircase can be seen growing out from under the bed turning down to the left side of the stage. As the song increases in volume the boys shadow can be seen descending....as it climbs further down, we see him begin to grow in size...until he reaches the end at the edge of the stage and curtain and from the edge emerges ...

A grown man,w long hair,wearing youthful pajamas with rubber duckies on them.under a blue spotlight. The song kicks into gear at full volume " For criminal acts and violence on the stage ......"
A sign hangs in front of the curtain ,with a blinking finger pointing to the right " This way to hell"

The instrumental intro of the song continues as he ,bewildered, but following the music, crosses the stage.The glowing red light beckons from the left side of the stage.As he reaches the other side. The curtains part .....revealing:

Behind him the stage comes alive with movement and lights, a party is in full riot.Our main character runs to hide behind a rock on the right side of the stage and watches the proceedings. The stage is a cross between a cavern,a throne room and a courtroom. With a jurors box on the left side of the stage.A staircase in the center going up high to a ornate gothic throne.Bits of Escher thrown in for good measure.
Dancers,dressed in drab cloaks/robes. Carousing.Begin Singing the lyrics of the song to each other in mocking fashion, one partner playing the accuser, the other: the accused. Each couple taking the spotlight for their line.

GO TO HELL
     For criminal acts and violence on the stage ( one couple takes center stage and plays out a pantomime)
     For being a brat.Refusing to act your age ( a second couple rushes the first out of way  and takes their place, one wagging their finger mockingly, while the second      kneels with a oversized lollipop)
     For all of the decent citizens you've enraged ( several pretend to be offended; holding their nose as if smelling something nasty etc)
     (the entire chorus turns in formation and faces the audience,finger pointing, and sings in unison)

     You can go to Hell

     For gambling and drinking alcohol constantly ( stumble drunk into each other)
     For making us doubt our parents authority(a grouping plays the trust game, and falls flat on ass)
     For choosing to be a living obscenity ( they get naughty  naughty)

     You can go to Hell ( in chorus)

     (two dancers stand center stage back to back,one one male/female while the rest of the chorus surround them and circle , pointing and singing up in their faces)

     You're something that never should have happened
     You even make your Grandma sick

    (individual dancers step forward to recite the next accusatory lines,directed at the couple in the center)
    You'd poison a blind man's dog and steal his cane
    (a dancer pops up from behind in the middle of the two and parts them like curtains )
    You'd gift wrap a leper
    And mail him to your Aunt Jane
    (grabs one by the lapels and shakes them violently)
    You'd even force-feed a diabetic a candy cane

   (everyone sings) You can go to Hell
   (couples hold each other and shake their heads in mock disappointment)
   You're something that never should have happened
   You even make your Grandma sick
   (everyone starts to separate and walk off to different positions,turning backs to audience,the volume of the singing quiets)
   For criminal acts and violence on the stage
   For being a brat
   Refusing to act your age
   For all of the decent citizens you've enraged
  (Big finish!! dramatic turn back to the audience) You can go to Hell !

Laughter,cackles and cheers for themselves.  People scatter.

Atop a staircase in the rear center of the stage sits a throne right out of a Vincent Price movie. Sitting on the throne is a figure,long haired and fashionably dressed.His face in shadow,except for his smile .Who has been watching the proceedings,Tapping his cane to the beat.

He clears his throat.

The crowd of dancers responds GASPS.Excitement, tittering. "He's here" "my heart" "what heart?" "OK,my black hole where it used to be"
Pointing his cane to the right corner :"Who is this that stands before me?"

The dancers are momentary confused,looking at each other,over their shoulders- who does he mean?

and then one steps forward and introduces himself" I am Legion, for we are many"
Song begins,
" We like to throw our bodies around...."
They do just that. showing their best movies for their master.The dancers tear off their cloaks/robes and A real disco inferno begins with 70's colors and costumes .
All the dancers join in on the song.Trying to one up each other with their wiggle. Till it becomes a group dance. Perhaps a Time Warp type of universal dance. (As the dancers move amongst each other ,caressing and rubbing bodies, their touches leave a shiny glitter residue on the bodies of their partners.As if working up a sweat.Perhaps w glitter/jelly on hands? Or makeup that shows up in the black lighting that soon overtakes the stage,like a club dancefloor)

GOTTA DANCE
We like to throw our bodies around
We like to feel each other
We're all slaves when we hear that sound
Says dance
Says dance
Says ya gotta dance
Says dance
And there ain't no two ways about it
We're all compelled to rise and thrust
When we all move together
We're hypnotized with savage lust
Says dance
Says dance
Says ya gotta dance
Says dance
I'm so hot it makes me shiver
Makes me wet
Makes me slide
It's some spirit I'm possessed by
I can't stop
We just got to dance
Dance
Dance
W egotta blow when we says blow
And we gotta shake and shimmy
We got the strings tied to our soul
Says dance
Says dance
Says we gotta dance
(And I don't mean tomorrow)
Says dance

 song ends

The STAR makes a proclamation to the gathering throng.

"I'm the Coolest" begins.  Out figure stands ,white tux tails and cane , and begins to walk down the steps as he sings.(I drew a sketch of white stairs with several dances in black pants sitting on the steps, legs outstretched, so the stairs look like piano keys)  His room of disciples writhe back and forth like waves on the water before him Mmmm and Ahhhhing  in his presence Clamoring for a touch.Pure joy of being in his holiness' presence He dons a top hat. Performs magic during the song ,granting wishes. Pure fun he is, asexual sex on two feet.


You know that I'm the coolest
That's ever come around
You'll notice things get hotter
Whenever I'm in the town
I mean I gotta be the coolest
Who else could it be
Everybody knows who's really cool
Me
Let's face it I'm the greatest
I'm Mr. Number One
My hometown built a statue
To their favorite son
I mean a gotta be the greatest
I'm just a ball of fun
I mean I'm definitely the greatest
I'm also the coolest
You can't leave a package like you
Sitting on no shelf
Let me tell you I'm so cool sonny
I'm gonna save a little for myself
Baby, come over here a minute
Who is the coolest
I mean how to I look
Yea
You can't leave a package like you
Sitting on no shelf
Let me tell you, I'm so cool, sonny
I'm gonna save a little for myself
You know the day I was born
There were these for dudes up on a hill
They said they saw this star
Hanging out over town
And the whole world seemed to stand still
It image the Sunday papers
I guess it provers for sure
I am the coolest
I am the greatest
I am the baddest
I am the smoothest
I'm just the best

The song ends with him halfway back up the stairs ,laying down on bodies of admirers who produce wine and grapes.

As he nibbles on the grapes and companions.....
"The STAR"  speaks  "what is on the agenda for today,my pretties? " 

Three henchmen approach.Each one says a single word , one speaks,the second follows with another single word, then the third.  Every fourth word there is a silent pause as if a word is missing.

The STAR  asks a bored question  "Where is your brother,this time?" 
1:"He"...2:"has"....3:"been"......silence  ...1"for" 2:"the" 3:"last"...silence   1:"weeks"
They are the Four Horsemen, and one of their brothers,Death, has gone off somewhere in search of himself. They are ordered to go an find him - I beseech him ."bring him to me"
Then, THE STAR asks to be read what is on the agenda for today . The lunacy of the the various items on the list ..1)something dark,2)something evil,..4)bake some cookies, causes our hero to attempt to stifle a laugh.

The STAR demands to know who is hiding. Our Hero is dragged out and presented to the king. The STAR expresses shock, he studies the figure of this new arrival, circling him. There is a bit of a resemblance between the two. Height,hair, general features. Not quite twins , but a similarity can be detected by the audience.

The STAR questions the man.A follower brings forth a scroll, a list of crimes the Hero has committed is read.Various dancers chime in that The Hero committed those crimes against them-" he did that to me ,too and didn't buy me dinner" .The STAR stops the reading of the list " that's enough,OH, we have a live one here.You've been a very bad boy"etc etc (echoing some of the statements from the parents in the beginning) The Hero doesn't understand (he still thinks he is a boy) "I haven't done these things?I'm just a kid"  The STAR" Not Yet,kid, but why wait?"
Their dialogue leads into the song " Didn't We Meet",each sharing lines to illustrate their thoughts.

DIDN'T WE MEET
(The STAR) Pardon me
           But you see I've seen that face before
           I know those eyes
           Unearthly wise
           I feel it more and more
           To look at you
           Deja Vu
           Chills me to the core
(The Hero) They say that you are the king of this whole damn thing
           But that only confused me
           I don't stand a ghost of a chance with my host
           And it frankly amused me
(The STAR) So let's drink a few (offers wine)
           Here's looking at you
           I swear
(Together)Didn't we meet in the night in my sleep somewhere
          Didn't we meet in the night in my sleep somewhere
(The STAR)Gradually, I could see
          Things are getting clear
          That ancient face
          Satanic grace
          This sudden rush of fear
(The HERO)They say that you are the king of this whole damn thing
          Now they got me believing
          They said I don't stand a ghost of a chance with my host
          So I better be leaving (tries to back away, but the dancers bloack his way)
(The Star)So let's drnk a few (forces the Hero to take a swig)
          Here's looking at you
          I swear
(Together)Didn't we meet in the night in my sleep somewhere
(The Hero)Here I am
          The door's been slammed
          They're gonna roast my hide
          Make me bleed
          Till I plead
          For you to let me die
          They say that you are the king of this whole damn thing
          Now they got me believing
          They said I don't stand a ghost of a chance with my host
          So I better be leaving
          So let's drnk a few
          Here's looking at you
          I swear
(Together)Didn't we meet in the night in my sleep somewhere

The STAR then sends our Hero to be locked up till he can be bothered to think of what to punish him with later. At this point there could be a classic Alice Cooper song that is sung , that is not from the Goes to Hell album. Maybe something The STAR is prompted by recalling fondly a random memory of a previous conquest, and he slips into the song Cold Ethyl. Dancing with a woman dancer who is painted gothic blue with Frankenstein's monster stiches all over her body.She occasionally hangs limply in his arms like a rag doll,but still moves gracefully.The stage fades to black as the song fades out.

Dark stage.
Lights go up and there is a cage at the center .Our Hero is trapped inside and rattles the bars and cries to be let out, to go home.The bottom half of Alice Coopers eye makeup is on his face, as if he has been crying and it has dripped down his cheeks.Dejected he sits and begins singing

WAKE ME GENTLY

I was scared to death
Afraid to close my eyes
And find that I was gone
Like every other one
Who left before the dawn
I vanished in the air
Am I still there
Wake me gently
If you can Wake me gently
Just touch my hand
Wake me gently
Pull my sleeve
'Cuz where I'm at
Is where I want to leave
And in my sleep
I look so lifeless on this bed
Laid out on satin sheets
This dream's a novel
That I don't dare complete
No happy ending read
I think the hero's dead
Wake me gently
If you can
Wake me gently
Just touch my hand
Wake me gently
Pull my sleeve
'Cuz where I'm at
Is where I want to leave
Me to my slumber
And I'll never come home
Please help me, I'm frightened
Of what's going on
What's going on
And if I can't wake up Will I be all alone
A stranded orphan here
Or will I bump into
Some other wandering soul
And will they talk to me
Somebody, somebody please rescue me
Wake me gently
If you can
Wake me gently
Just touch my hand
Wake me gently
Pull my sleeve
'Cuz where I'm at
Is where I want to leave
I wanna leave
I wanna leave
I wanna wake up
I wanna leave
I don't wanna stay
I wanna leave
I wanna go
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
Just wake me up
I wanna go home
Wake me up please
'Cuz I wanna go home
I wanna go home
Wake me
Wake me

song ends
 A second prisoner is brought to the cage. He is Death,who resembles a worn and torn teddy bear.Comments on The Hero's tears,tries to tell him a joke,falls flat, tells him a bit of his (he wants to be a comedian,)and begins the song.Perhaps, during the song Death performs a bit of business with a piece of paper. Makes a paper boat out of it and when done, sets it down on the floor outside of the cage and the boat suddenly begins to float off stage as the song ends.

"I NEVER CRY"

If there is a tear on my face
It makes me shiver to the bones
It shakes me, Babe
It's just a heartache that got in my eye
And you know I never cry ,I never cry
Sometimes I drink more than I need
Until the TV's dead and gone
I may be lonely
But I'm never alone
And the night may pass me by
But I'm never alone
And the night may pass me by
But I'll never cry
Take away, take away my eyes
Sometimes I'd rather be blind
Break a heart, break a heart of stone
Open it up but don't you leave it alone
'Cause that's all I got to give you
Believe me Babe, it ain't been used
My heart's a virgin, it never been tried
And you know I'll never cry
And you know I'll never cry
And you know I'll never cry
Never cry, I'll never cry
Break a heart, break a heart of stone
Open it up but don't you leave it alone
'Cause that's all I got to give you
Believe me Babe, it ain't been used
My heart's a virgin, it never been tried
And you know I'll never cry
Never cry
I'll never cry 

Death explains to the Hero ,that to be free,to escape your troubles you must find yourself (maybe death strums a guitar)

The Hero "Who am I?where am I?what am I? "slips into the song :

"Im Eighteen" 


Lines form on my face and hands
Lines form from the ups and downs
I'm in the middle without any plans
I'm a boy and I'm a man

I'm eighteen and I don't know what I want
Eighteen I just don't know what I want
Eighteen I gotta get away
I gotta get out of this place
I'll go runnin' in outer space oh yeah

I got a baby's brain and an old man's heart took eighteen years to get this far
Don't always know what I'm talkin' about feels like I'm livin' in the middle of doubt

'Cause I'm eighteen I get confused every day eighteen I just don't know what to say
Eighteen I gotta get away

Whoa lines form on my face and my hands
Lines form on the left and right
I'm in the middle the middle of life
I'm a boy and I'm a man

I'm eighteen and I like it
Yes I like it
Oh I like it love it like it love it
Eighteen eighteen eighteen eighteen and I like it

Applause from dark outside the cage. Bump up the lights
The Dancers have been listening from the jury booth.The STAR is siting up on his throne, legs slung over the armrests.The top hat dangling on his shoe.
The applause of the dancers fades into the STARS Slow clap
"How sentimental..."

The Heros trial begins.Crimes are read into the minutes,(some of them foolish,you killed your teddy bear,others obscene)the Hero denies he would ever do these things. As the STAR steps to his throne, prepares to pass sentence, he asks if the Hero has any last words

Begin the song

GIVE THE KID A BREAK  Joining in, The dancers sing the chorus, The STAR takes the appropriate Judges lines

(The Hero)Don't know why I'm down here
          Must be something I said
          Or some small I small imperfection
          In my soul or in my head
          Don't know why I'm down here
          Don't deserve to roast or bake
          I'm fighting off slanderous allegations
(The jury box) Why don't you give the kid a break
(The STAR shoots them a glare, hammers his cane like a gavel)
(The Hero)Don't you think maybe we could talk this over
         You're a reasonable man
         Could we discuss my grave situation
         I'm a miserable man
         And I'm in the frying man
(chorus) Give the kid a break
(The STAR) Give me one good reason why I should
(The Hero) All, right, all right, so I made a few mistakes
           But listen for Heaven's sake
(The STAR) Watch your language ,Kid
(The Hero) OK, OK, don't get hot
(The STAR) Don't question my judgement
           He only reaped what he sowed
           He cast his pearls before swine
           And that's good enough for me
           I don't want to talk it over
           Even tho' I'm a resonable man
           Sonny, come over here
           Looks like you're in no position to bargain
           You're a convicted man
           You're right in the frying pan
(Chorus)   Give the kid a break
(The STAR) Nah, nah, I don't think so, man
(The Hero) Come on, you know I got what it takes
           Can't you give me a break
(The STAR) Sure thing kid, when Hell freezes over
(Chorus)   DONT.... Give the kid a break
(The Hero) Hey, you guys, I thought you were on my side
(Chorus)  Don't ,Give the kid a break
(The Hero) Yeah, well thanks a lot, pals
           Listen boss, maybe we can make a little deal
           Isn't there anything I can say
           Of some kind of fine I can pay
           Something
           Don't know why I'm down here
           Must be something I said (I'm sorry)
           Or some small imperfection
           In my soul or in my head
           It might be some sort of imperfection
           It might be a defection or a, a clear case of misdirection yeah
           It must be a small imperfection
           In my soul or in my head
(Chorus)   Give the kid a break

The STAR passes judgement. Its a mean spirited statement ,that echoes once again something the parents said at the start.

Our HERO screams " NOOOOOOOoooooooo" The cage walls explode apart and a fall to the floor.

And so begins the song : singing to the jury box and audience.

"GUILTY"
Just tried to have fun, raised hell and then some
I'm a dirt-talkin', beer drinkin', woman chasin' minister's son
Slap on the make-up and blast out the music
Wake up the neighbors with a roar
Like a teenage heavy metal elephant gun

If you call that guilty, then that's what I am
I'm guilty, I'm guilty

I like driving too fast, love going too far
It seems the law's on my ass
Every time I stick it out of the door

If you call that guilty, then that's what I am
I'm guilty, I'm guilty

Bad boy on a summer night
When the heat makes me mean
And I wanna fight with my pedal to the metal
And I do what I want to do
Bad girls make me feel all right
When it's hot and they start screaming in the night

Golly gee, it's wrong to be so guilty
I'm guilty, guilty, I'm guilty

My conscience is on vacation in acute degeneration
Willpower has sunk to all-time low

If you call that guilty, well, I guess I am
I'm guilty, I'm guilty

If you call that guilty, then that's what I am
I'm guilty, I'm guilty, I'm guilty, I'm guilty
I'm guilty, I'm guilty, I'm guilty, I'm guilty

Well, I'm guilty, yeah, I'm guilty
I don't care, I'm guilty
I think I've been framed anyway

They said I'm guilty, I'm guilty
They're guilty and everyone is guilty


Time for confessions, The HERO confronts the STAR , Its revealed the Star is the Hero's conscience and will eventually go missing for years in the future,The Hero chases The STAR around the stage, up and down the stairs demanding that he get back inside of his mind.  I'm thinking this song could be the STAR singing , mocking the Hero

"WISH YOU WERE HERE"

I bought some postcards
But it ain't funny
I would have sent a souvenir
But they took all my money
It's pretty warm down here
But it ain't sunny

And I'm having a hell of a time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of a time my dear
Wish you were here

I tried to phone ya
I tried to call ya
Long distance operators
They only stall ya
Besides the damn rates are so high
They just appall ya

And I'm having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here

Started out on a nice vacation
Left the station right on time
Now it's turned to near frustration
I'm just a prisoner in time

Can't get a ticket
To get me home dear
They just don't have too many flights
From the twilight zone dear
So don't forget to feed my cats
Spot and Jerome dear

And I'm having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here

Seen all the sights here
I'm getting lonely
I'd show you all the film I took
If they would only
Let me go home
Dear sincerely

I'm having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of time my dear
Wish you were here 

The Hero takes the The STARS top hat and cane. And by now his own makeup resembles the Alice Cooper eyes. The HERO tells Death to hold The STAR.Death tries to tell the same joke as before, its timing is off and falls flat
The Hero begins singing:

"NO MORE MR NICE GUY." The dancers appear as characters in the song for bits of comedy

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
'Til they got a hold of me.
I opened doors for little old ladies,
I helped the blind to see.
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers.
They can't be seen with me and I'm gettin' real shot down
And I'm feeling mean.

No more Mister Nice Guy,
No more Mister Clean,
No more Mister Nice Guy,
They say he's sick, he's obscene.

I got no friends 'cause they read the papers.
They can't be seen with me and I'm feelin' real shot down
And I'm gettin' mean.

No more Mister Nice Guy, (There is struggle, The STAR tries to escape. The Hero snaps his fingers and a guillotine is brought on stage.)
No more Mister Clean,( a bald dancer uses a bottle and squirts water into the face of the STAR)
No more Mister Nice Guy,
They say he's sick, he's obscene.

My dog bit me on the leg today.
My cat clawed my eyes. (Dancer shows up in a CATS theater costume)
Ma's been thrown out of the social circle, (someone tosses a figure from up high to the floor,it falls hard behind a rock,someone ,dressed the same ,immediately pops up and takes a TA -DA bow)
And dad has to hide.
I went to church incognito.
When everybody rose, the Reverend Smith,
He recognized me,
And punched me in the nose, he said.

No more Mister Nice Guy, ( The STAR is placed in the guillotine)
No more Mister Clean,
No more Mister Nice Guy,
He said you're sick, you're obscene.

No more Mister Nice Guy,
No more Mister Clean,
No more Mister Nice Guy,
He said you're sick, you're obscene.

The HERO says " Any last words?" The STAR opens his mouth and begins to sing a familiar Alice song, but before he barely gets through the first line...the cord is pulled and SHHHHHHHHHHUCT ,down comes the blade.

The HERO pick up the head from the basket and stares into its eyes. He then snaps his fingers and a piano is slid onto stage in front of him ,the decor of the stage takes on a saloon, the dancers have changed costume to fit the mood.He begins playing

"I'M ALWAYS CHASING RAINBOWS" sitting at the piano, singing to the head he has placed on the top of the piano.

At the end of the rainbow, there's happiness
And to find it how often I've tried
But my life is a race just a wild goose chase
And all my dreams have been denied
Why have I always been a failure
What can the reason be
I wonder if the world's to blame
I wonder if it could be me
I'm always chasing rainbows, watching clouds drifting by
My schemes are just like all my dreams
Ending in the sky
Some fellows look and find the sunshine
I always look and find the rain
And some fellows make a winning sometime
And I never even make a gain
I'm always chasing rainbows waiting to find the little bluebird in vain

As he finishes
The light receeds and The Hero is now left alone in the spotlight, the dancers are gone,the stage is empty.

Death walks up into the spotlight over the Hero . shares a piece of parting advice. Perhaps in the form of the same joke hes tried to tell before. Have you heard the one about the .......
And then fades into the darkness.

*beat*

The HERO finally gets the joke...a laugh.....
.......a small blue light appears at the top of the stairs...repeats the punchline, another laugh ....
begin "

 "I'M GOING HOME"

I'm going home (a silhouette of the child on the bed appears)
There I am there, in my bedroom 
I'm safe and I'm snug and snoring
And so glad to be there.

I'm going home
None of this ever happened
But, God, it really did happen
Still nothing has changed.

[Chorus]
I'm going home   (As he progresses through the song, he walks the stage to pick up the pieces. His top hat, his cane......his teddy bear(maybe the teddy bear could be found on the piano where in place of where he left the head).

I'm going home
To my own room
To all the mess
To all the dirty laundry
It looks so good I don't care
I'm just so glad to be home, sweet home

Wonder if anyone missed me?
Or have I been gone so far
They thought that I died
How many said
I wonder what happened to Alice?
How many shrugged, or laughed,
How many cried,
But I don't give a damn!

[Chorus]

I'm going home
Nothing can stop me now
(repeat)

He walks up the steps and into the bright blue light.
Leaving only the silhouette of the child on the bed back in his bedroom.

as the song comes to its conclusion. Child rocking on the bed holding the teddy bear.Quiet returns

*beat*

The door flings open again with its white light and the huge accusatory finger reappears with the parent shouting "I thought I told you to be quiet and go to bed" 

door slams

darkness