Michael Rennie was ill the day.......He heard that FOX was planning to
remake the Rocky Horror Picture Show!!! (arrgh! ,new callback)
Pardon
the incoherence of this blog , but the mind is racing and it's almost
catching up with the pulse. I'm disappointed by the thought of this
remake being made and it's hard to contain the desire to punch things
other than the keys on this board.. Ok.....take a deep breath....jump to
the left ....aaaaaaaaaaand GO!
Must we remake ,re
imagine ,redo EVERYTHING?!?! It's like everything that was good is now
crap again. I know that this happens every generation in film. Old
stories that worked once are rejigged for a modern audience with bigger
budgets and a knudge,knudge wink winking eye to casting. But seriously
folks? This movie??
Don't get me wrong , I have a
special place in the black hole where my heart used to be for all things
Rocky Horror. The years i spent on stage as Riff-Raff have many a fond
memory attached to them ( well, the ones i can still recall , that is).
There is something to be said to the feeling one evokes when an entire
audience of 300-500 plus people all laugh at something you did
spontaneously for a joke. And the things I got away with while hosting
the preshow.....( it's a wonder I didn't spend some time in jail.HA,
...ahh mammories.
Here's a question .....Why not do a modern
day direct SEQUEL? Written by Richard O'Brien. He has several versions
on paper, and the few I have been privileged to have read are quite
amusing in their own way. One, that was intended to be the first direct
sequel, before budget constraints and casting issues arose , became the
film known as Shock Treatment. In the original version, Dr Scott ,and
his assistant Brad had set up a cabin next to the crater left by the
castle taking off . It is there that they had found Franks abandoned
body. And upon Frank's awakening he utters the line " I haven't a thing
to wear to my resurrection" ans slips into the Shock Treatment song now
known as "Little Black Dress" ..........."ever since I was a little
boy....dressing up has always been...my greatest joy.
Years
later, O'Brien penned another sequel idea called "Revenge of the Old
Queen". the movie was to have a tag line "Keep Watching The Showers!!"
Good cheeky fun.
According to reports, this new version will be a two hour made for TV
movie. This idea was batted around already once before ,years ago ,with
MTV planning a version. Both were stated as using the original Richard
O'Brien script for their basis and not some random authors rewrite. Yet,
Made for TV? how can this work without major changes to character
elements and complete scenes because of standards and practices? Even
when the movie was aired on VH-1 for decades it still had to be edited
for content. This movie was never that naughty or explicit. The only
nudity was from various statues and one intentional nip slip from
Columbia. And before the callbacks, only one "FUCK" was given.
And what of the singing? *SHUDDER* What dreadful auto-tunage will our bleeding ears be tortured by?
Now, I know it may seem ridiculous to get all worked up over a "new"
version of a movie. Especially when I have absolutely no issue with the
various versions of the play that continue to be performed to this day.
I've seen the play in live context multiple times and never once felt
like they were pissing on a personal memory.
The play and
movie was a collaborative effort. Developed over time with influence
brought in from all corners of the crew.From costumes to set design,
everyone brought something more to the production from their love of the
genre. This enthusiasm translated to attracting large audiences to the
play in it's original run. Audience members that included notable guests
such as Vincent Price, who attended the opening night, and David Bowie
who returned multiple times.
But I still don't get it ?Why
this? Why now? It barely worked the first time even though it was
something special. A once in a while kind of movie whose AUDIENCE found
it and made it their own. You can't make something like this work twice.
You can't intentionally make a cult movie. Rocky Horror as a movie was a
failure the first time around .The film was close to being lost in the
dusty vaults forever. It wasn't until a year after its initial release
when one smart theater manager started showing it as a Midnight Movie
that the excitement for this strange piece of celluloid started to
slowly grow.
Rocky Horror didn't always have the front of
screen antics and in house call backs. This developed over time , by the
people who fell in love with the movie and its multiple homages to
other movies that were already close to their hearts .Its music, simple
yet effective earworms that made you smile. Its message of be it, don't
dream it,no matter how strange and wonderful you are. These folks kept coming back week after week
because this movie spoke to them. Who is this new version going to speak
to?
Watching a movie in the comfort of ones home is quite
different than in the dark of a theater surrounded by strangers sharing
an experience. A made for TV version will never give birth to another
fabulous Dori Hartley. The audience member to immerse herself so
completely into the costume and role of Frank-N-Furter that she became
the first Rocky Horror cosplayer. Her need to breathe through this
character, so much so that she dressed, spoke and evoked the presence
of Frank when ever in costume , probably inspired the whole cosplay
genre by her love for all things Frank. It certainly inspired the first
Rocky audiences, who joined her in the fun by dressing as other members
of the movie, which in turn led to members of the audience acting out
scenes here an there to the eventual putting on a show of the entire
movie while it played in the background. Once again, returning the movie
to its spiritual theater roots.
What of the callbacks?Ever
try to do the callbacks in between commercial breaks?Not fun. The whole
joy of call backs is the talking back n forth with the screen for
humorous effect, and even going back and forth with other audience
members sitting on the other side of the theater. Long before the days
of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ,this aspect of the Rocky Horror
experience is stated as being started by Louis Farese Jr, who
instructed our dear Janet to invest in a umbrella.And it has snowballed
from there to the point that even the end credits get the once over.
Might the RH audiences have been an indirect inspiration for the idea of
MST3K? Sure, we have all commented aloud to bad films we have suffered
though , but could the fervor with which RH audiences brought to the
experience have helped pop the original kernel of an idea of doing it
from start to finish of a film? Ridiculously , the filmmakers of the
original RH were asked if they left all of those quiet moments in the
film especially for the purpose of call backs. Will the new version make
their movie with callbacks in mind? Forcing "humor" ? Try too hard to
be self referential and step on the beats?
Why not just go see the original? It's not going to work a second time as a film. Partially, I believe, because the audience who "got it"
the first go around doesn't exist today. RH was a musical play created
by Richard O'Brien out of his own love for 50's Sci-Fi/Horror movies
that he watched growing up, good ol' Rock n Roll music, with a dash of
repressed gender issues thrown in for good measure. And the audiences
who embraced this musical/movie shared some of these interests. Whom
would most likely be the target audience for this movie? This story has
themes about being different and embracing that aspect of yourself. What
the fuck does FOX know about being different? Every different show they
ever produce they mishandled and allowed to get cancelled too
soon.(FIREFLY, anyone?) And what does Fox know about music? They know as
much as MTV. Or have we forgotten the horror that was Glee? Will the
songs be revamped for a modern generation? Eddie going to come out and
rap this time? Will the Time Warp go techno??Will Science Fiction,Double
Feature become five minutes of song with another five minutes of Pariah
Carey-esque vocalizing over the melody???
Do B-Movie 50-'s
sci-fi audiences exist today with younger generations, without the
irony? Sure, the DVDs are out there, the movies can be found via
streaming sites, and even MST3K has given long lost catastrophes
exposure so one can discover these movies today. But growing up watching
that genre in glorious black an white every Saturday afternoon after a
morning of sugar fueled cartoon watching was something different.Kids
are not exposed to this genre as much these days so the references in
the text will not have as much meaning. Even locations and camera angles
used in the original film were direct homages to moments from the
movies that inspired the play in the first place.
Even the
cheapness of the sets, most likely due to budget constrains, are part of
the charm and work as direct winks to the past. A bigger budget and
fancier costumes will not evoke the same feeling. And heaven help us
from the overuse of CGI for any or all special effects. I will sadly
miss the lasers by magic marker effect of the original.
Then
there is the gender bending aspect of the original story. Today's
audiences have had much more exposure to guys in makeup and fishnets. It
is not something that is spoken in whispers anymore. Back in it's day,
the sight of Frank was still something of a surprise, not something you
saw everyday hanging out at the campus coffee shop. Today there are
entire shows devoted to the art of cross dressing. As Jane said,
Nothings shocking.
Casting is still in process but a director has been chosen. A Kenny Ortega, known for directing something called High School Musical and for
having done the choreography for such classics as Xanadu. Let's just
take a moment to imagine what Joss Whedon could bring to a movie like
this.
And while we are on the subject of casting...just who
the heck thinks they can fill the high heels of Tim Curry? Sure, Anthony
Stewart Head did a impressive job on the London stage.But can lightning
strike thrice?Much like Hedwig, too often the character of Frank is
performed as if a drag queen, which is not what the character is
supposed to be. You can't just put any "pretty face" in the role. Which
is another fear of this upcoming production. Will this be another wash
of airbrushed faces, boob implants and flavors of the month? Part of the
charm of the original cast was that it consisted of unknowns. No public
personality to get in the way of getting lost in the movie. their faces
were not perfect, but beautifully unique. Their bodies not sculpted,
well, excusing Rocky Horror's of course. the each seemed to fit the part
they played. and not just due to the right makeup or costuming.
Especially costuming, as most of it comes of in course of the movie.
The casting will be key to this even coming close to working. I imagine
it will be cast with a focus on current recognizable performers rather
than finding someone who is right for the part. I'll admit, while
griping and groaning momentarily over this planned piece of
craptacularness, I can not help play a little of the casting game:
Christopher Eccleston as Riff Raff? James Lipton as the Criminologist?
Amy Sedaris as Columbia? Eddie Izzard as Dr Scott?Jack Black as Eddie?
Jim Henson's Muppet Babies as the Transylvanians?
Hopefully , this pile of dung will lose it's steam as before, as this is the second time a remake has been proposed.
Ugh, I need a drink of Riff's homemade table wine.
P.S. Ever wonder where Rocky Horror got his blonde hair from ? Next
time you watch Sweet Transvestite...pay attention to what Frank does
when he sings the line " I've been making a man with blonde hair and a
tan"...he plays with Riffs hair,while Riff shoots him a glare ....and
Riff just happens to be missing roughly the same sized patch of hair
that Rocky Horror now sports. And you wondered why Riff hated and
tortured Rocky so. Yes, I've thought about this movie too much to
notice theses things. HA
