Hazel-Rah's Helliday Mixtape 7 Volume 2: The Mixtape Strikes Back

What's this ? What's this ? There's music on the air....What's this ?! What's this?!! What...IS...THIS!?!

Why it's .....

A Double dose of Hazel-Rah Helliday Cheer ! That's right,your silly wabbit has done it again and compiled yer another collection of carols to drown out all that incessant holiday noise.

I just couldn't wait till next year to share this batteries not included box of joy .

This year you get two ,that's right TWO !.. for the price on none.

So, Set you humbug to BAH,crank the stereo to eleven, and settle in for another unsettling selection of schmaltz free seasonal songs

1) Krusty the Clown starts singing " It's the most wonderful time of the year" and is rewarded with a face full of snow balls
2) The band Fear has but this solemn message to say to you this season....."FUCK CHRISTMAS"
3)Santa still can't get no love in this Voicedude mashup called appropriately sweet enough :
 "Fuck you ,Santa" (feat Cee-Lo Green vs The Jackson 5)
4) What's this you hear? The trailer for Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas...Do you remember this movie before Hot Top made it a mascot?
5) Santa wants you to leave a nice cold glass of milk and some warm brains our for he and his "Undead Elves" by Robert Lund
6) Tracey Thorn wants to stay warm "In The Cold Cold Night" 
7) "Merry....ummm...line?" Homer Simpson practices his best Santa
8) Erin McKeown think that "Santa is an asshole" 
9) But, Invader Zim knows  ...humans can't resist a fat man with presents
10) Belle & Sebastian are getting nothing from "Santa Claus(live)"  this Helliday
11) Brrrrrrrr-ave the "Winter Winds" by Mumford & Sons
12) Charlie Brown can't help but express some christmas card sarcasm
13) It's Christmas( and I hate you) -Josh Well and Paloma Faith.Cant we all just get along this helliday?
14) Call Mr Plow when the Holiday BS gets too deep
15) Gruff Rhys is trying to survive a "Post Apocalypse Christmas". Hope you survive yours.
16) The Bee Gees sing their Helliday greetings in this old fashioned radio ID
17) I Feel It In My Bones- The Killers
18) Silent Night-The Kills perform an alternative version of this seasonal standard
19) Winter Kills -Yazoo
20) Scrooge McDuck says Bah Humbug to getting together with family for Christmas
21) And just like Scrooge, Prince is celebrating "Another Lonely Christmas" 
22) Wiggle to the "Winter Beats" of I Break Horses
23)And now...The Dr Seuss Bible , as performed by The Kids in the Hall
24) " I Wanna Be Dentated" The Ramones vs The Three Stooges vs The Ray Conniff Singers only want their two front in this Mojochronic mashup
25) The kids arent dumb, they know those mall Santas are not the real one."Bad Santa ",no cookies.
26)  The Sonics " Don't Believe in Christmas"
27) It's "Christmas in Da Club" with the Tom Tom Club . Jingle yo bells and shake you money maker
28)The Santa in the lobby wants to kill News Radio's Phil Hartman
29) Spend "Christmas in Prison" with John Prine
30) The Vicar of Dibley has a new Christmas Carol ...all about the birth of Jebus...sing with me ..
      " Praise the Lord ,he's coming down the birth canal !"
31) You can help E.T. get home in this 80's commercial for the Atari 2600 game, but nothing could save Atari from this landfill of a travesty
32) "Do You Fear What I Fear?" The H.P. Lovecraft Appreciation Society wants to know
33) South Park's Butters has always wanted a huge package
34) The Lady signing doesn't blow ...the tune...in this Durwood Douche "The Christmas Gift" , she knows just what you need this X-Y-Z -Mess ....ziiiiiiiiiip
35) American Dad's Roger just can't get drunk on simple eggnog this Christmas
36) However, Foster Brooks knows how in his "Twelve Drunken Days of Christmas " ....hmm, only twelve?
37) The O'Jays want to know "What are you doing NewYears Eve?"
38) Moe Syzlak just wants Barny to kill him this Christmas

Hazel-Rah's Helliday Mix 1,2,3,4,5,6,7: All good Mixtapes Go To Heaven

Hazel-Rah's Helliday Mix 1,2,3,4,5,6,7: All good Mixtapes Go To Heaven

God rest ye merry, gentlemen.. Let nothing you dismay ...Remember, Christ, our Saviour ,died so you could be a prick on Black Friday......

Why it seems that only yesterday it was Thanksgiving, oh wait...its still November and the bombardment has already begun.....Ohhhhh Holy crap...the seasons fast approaching .....Who doesn’t love this old Pagan holiday? Twenty five days of overplayed tunes, skeeting snow, coughing in your face cold infested members of the public, and saccharine sweet “very special” episodes of sitcoms and assorted television specials.
There is no escape, try as you might. So here is my annual collection of “carols “to cool your roasting chestnuts. Crack open a bottle of spirits of the season, and pull on your cracker. Give batteries this season with a note saying “Toys not included” and settle in for a spin of this....Hazel-Rahs Helliday mixtape 7


1) "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer joins the A-Team" will not be seen today, instead we bring you this sound bite from that classic 80's TV show You Can’t Do That On Television.....ahhhh Moose, I don’t know what I would do without her in my life. ...Uh..oh * looks up*
2) "Christmas ,was better in the 80's" - The Futureheads....it was,wasnt it? Transformers....Atari games.....Am/FM walkman cassette players....
3)"Winter"-The Comateens wont let us leave the 80's just yet in this New Wave nugget of snow
4) Still stuck in the 80's, Agent Cooper wishes you a Merry Christmoose from Twin Peaks
5) "Things Fall Apart"as they always do,especially for Cristina Monet as she sings of haunting, and doomed attempts to find a little Xmess cheer.....in the 80's
6)Sessions presents : A Peter Griffin Christmas
7) "Anmi’s Christmas (Red,Green,Silver,and Gold)" - Cruxshadows Oh..... my..... goth, it’s a sugary sweet song sung to the lead singers new baby  daughter, who cant help but laugh at her daddy at the end.
8) Invader Zim demands we get back to work as that’s ”Enough Jolly!!”
9) To The Northern Kind, the helliday brings nothing but decking the halls with “Tears and Tinsel”
10) Need to get away from the all those helliday festivities? Then why not take a long car ride with the Sisters of Mercy and be “Driven Like the Snow”
11) Rod Serling tells one of “The magic that can only be found in the Twilight Zone”
12) I’m telling you all it’s a “Santatage” (Otis Reading vs the Beastie Boys vs Run DMC) in this Divide & Kreate Mashup
13) Golden Girl Blanche has a thing for all those men in that red hot sweaty flannel
14)And the Millionaires couldnt agree more as they are just plain Ho HO Hoes in this “Rated X-Mas”
15) Youre a mean one..Homer the Grinch...and youre just ..a little druuuuunk in this Simpsons soundbite
16) Come On, Santa- Raveonettes
17)Nothing says X-Mess like obscene phone calls and murder. Especially on a Black Christmas movie trailer
18)The Killers plead “Don’t Shoot Me Santa”
19)All Gir wants for X-Mess is a barrel of floss, two balls of glue TO BE HIS FRIENDS! And he wants to go dancin', NAKED! Who wouldnt?
20) “All I want for Christmas”- Timbuk3
21) Don't be “Lonely This Christmas”-with Mud in this glam ol time of a tune that sounds like something from a lost Elvis Presley album
22)David Tennent remembers the Christmases of his youth and the disappointment that the presents were never bigger on the inside.
23) Poe does a jazz riff cover of this ...umm...classic?...X-mess tune from everyone’s youth ”Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”
24) Aww isnt that sweet,Roger has been making snow angels...oh wait, no.He’s just passed out...in vomit.... since he’s been “Binge drinking” in this American Dad soundbite.How festive
25)Sherwin Linton reminds us that no one is exempt from the law. Even “Santa Got a DWI”
26)Weird AL wishes you a Merry Christmas in this radio Ident
27)I got nostalgic this season for this Weird Al tune,”Christmas at Ground Zero”. The dance one did to this tune was one hell of a workout
28) The Wise Men visit the wrong manger in Monty Pythons Life of Brian,but hey at least they brought gold ,frankenstein and grrr
29) Stephen Lynch sings of that oft forgotten brother of Jebus, “Craig”.Just think about the feelings of inadequacy one would have if Jebus had been your brother.All that doesnt bother Craig
30) Only 3 days left to do the shopping , 3 days left to fill the stocking, in this assault from the mall music radio ident
31)Elton John sings Ho HO HO(Who’d be a turkey at Christmas?)
32)Only...two more days to do the shopping....two more days to fill the stocking.
33)Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew sing “Merry Christmas, if that’s OK”....sure guys...as long as its not Happy Holidays. Then it’s WAR!
34)One more day .....
35)Kiki and Herb sing “Tonight’s the Kind of Night” where all things come together.
36) The Mall singers wish you a final Merry X-Mess

And so do I ..Happy Hellidays
from
Hazel-Rah

Halloween 8 : The Return o the Mixtape

Hazel-Rah's Halloween 8: The Return of the Mix-Tape

The Moon glooms behind a  ragged curtain of clouds
Oranges and reds of fiery Fall leaves litter the ground
The Turning of the year as Summer ends and the cold of Winter begins is upon us.
Trick or treat?
Remember when this wasn’t just a catchphrase but posed as an actual question? Where One..... had a chance of delivering a sweet.....
or suffering the consequences.
So, to avoid my rabbit ears from being toilet papered in the dead of night I offer you my horrifying tradition of collected ghoulish goodies.
Slip on this spooky selection as you watch the shadows dance on bare walls.
Emerging from the flickering flame oozing hot wax inside your pumpkins gaping mouth
Until that candle’s final flicker
Blown out by wandering spirits on their midnight errands .
And  the darkness reaches out and engulfs you

1) "It’s time to get Scared Stiiiiiiiiiiifffffff" Drac from Elvira’s Scared Stiff Pinball machine invites into tonight's party
2)" Halloween Theme” - Girls under Glass. A dark German chocolate dancefloor treat
3) "The Greatest Show Unearthed "- Creature Feature- sounding not unlike something from a  Nightmare before Christmas carnival. Let the spooky fun begin. Release the clowns!
4)”Come In ..ahh fresh victims for my ever growing army of the undead"-Treehouse of Horrors Mr Burns gets his Drac on but forgets to let go of the button
5) "Dracula’s Tango" - Toto Coelo The British one hit wonders who bought us that tasty tune about eating cannibals hangs with Dracula
6)”Where Wolf?...There...There Wolf...there Castle” - Young Frankenstein
7) “Fresh Blood “- The Eels
8) “Lullaby” The Editors. Invite you into their parlor like an angry Joy Division covering The Cure, as the spiderman is always hungry
9) Bob takes Laura and the Twin Peaks train car is filled with the chilling music of murder. The train car scene in which BOB/Leland kills Laura Palmer was shot on Halloween which is also Frank Silva's (BOB) birthday
10) “Murder Music” - Renegade Soundwave . Plucked from the 80's , a electronic treat
11) “Just a Dream"...this whole thing is just a dream”- Nancy turns her back on evil and takes away it’s power and wakes from her Nightmare on Elm Street
12) “Nightmare” Comateens. A New Wave nugget of candy corn
13)” Halloween” - enjoy this piece of Glass Candy dropped in your Trick or Treat bag as it sounds like a John Carpenter score playing at a italo disco
14) Listen closely to this Night of the Living Dead “reporters warning” about being partially devoured
15)”Corporate Cannibal”-Grace Jones,a stunning piece of chocolate.
16)” John Wayne Gacy,Jr” - Sufjan Stevens . Chill down to your bones to this one.
17) “Lights!...Organ!.” Elvira really likes the nice ...organ... in this bite taken from her Party Monsters Pinball.
18)”Ghost of John(Bare Bones version)”- Kristen Lawrence
19) Alice Cooper pleads for the Kiddies to not be denied the joy that is high fructose corn syrup in this Public Service Announcement
20)”Under the Bed”- Alice Cooper knows what evil lies in wait below
21)”Dig My Grave”- They Might Be Giants, so dig a big one
22) Boo Berry,Count Chocula and Frankenberry cant decide whose the best in this sweet Monster cereal commercial
23)”Jack the Ripper” Mashup (The Hives vs Lord Such)by FrankenPilchard
24) “Kiss Your Face” with Make-Up in this 70's commercial
25) “Rock and Roll Halloween”- Bobby Bare,Jr. We’ve all been to a party with a pregnant Elvis dancing with a Hooker Jesus,havent we?
26) The Devil Flanders reminds Homer of his contract for a scrum-diddly-umcious donut in this Treehouse of Horrors nibble
27)”The Devil is My Friend”-So says Jazz Butcher, who is friends with Love and Rockets,so you just have to believe him
28) Vincent Price recommends you use Tilex Mildew Remover to clean your laboratory in this commercial
29)”Monster Mash” -The classic Halloween tune gets taken on by the classy Vincent Price
30) Elvira’s Haunted Hills Trailer
31)”Science Fiction,Double Feature” as performed live by Amanda Palmer(Dresden Dolls),Moby,Stephin Merritt(Magnetic Fields)  and...wait for it, with antici...............pation, Neil Gaimen on Craig Ferguson
32)There will be “Dogs and Cats ,living together, mass hysteria” if the Ghostbusters are not allowed to do their job
33)”Zombies On Your Lawn” -Laura Shigihara rewards your gardening skills with this little final credit song from Plants vs Zombies
34) 30 Second Bunnies hum the theme from “The Exorcist” for about 30 seconds
35) William Shatner reads Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven”
36)”Miss Me?” You didnt think I would forget about Freddy? He wants to know if you do in this final Wes Craven’s New Nightmare bite of candy as you reach the bottom of this Trick or Treat bag.

Disgracefully Yours,
HazelRah