Hazel-Rah's Helliday Mixtape 10: The Revenge of Santa Claws!

Christmas is sneaking up on us and there is nothing you can do to stop it. The stress of the season makes one want to strangle a Santa with a slinky. That red suited bastard who knows when you have been good or bad like some spying government agent…or that creepy elf on the shelf.

Santa is here to chew candy canes and kick ass and he is all out of candy canes. But he has promises of goodies in his cruel way to constantly be “toying” with ones expectations of X-“mess” morning.So fight off that Seasonal Affected Disorder (hey,S-A-D!) with this mixed bag of tunes.

From mashups to classics, and mashups of classics, this mix has a little something for everyone on your list. 

1) American Dad knows the secret to finding the Helliday spirit…..”To The Shopping Mall!” 

2) Rejoice, there is nothing gaudy about Erasure’s joyous “Gaudete”

3)Elvira, Mistress of the Dark celebrates the Holidays in her own special way :SCARY! 

4)Devo wish a “Merry Something To You” 

5)Abus though Zebus. Eddie Izzard tells us about all the many brothers of Jebus

6)Ginger Minj,Cross -dresser for Christ, gives you a Seasons Merry-Happy “ Chrisma-Hannu-Kwanzaa-Ka “ Greetings.

7)The Fat Boys know what every one wants under their tree this season…A SWATCH WATCH! 

8)”(Keep Feeling) Christmas “ as Dan Phillips roasts those chestnuts over an open fire in this mashup of Human League meets Mel Torme

9)El Vez, The Mexican Elvis, wishes you a Public Image –esque “Feliz Navidad” 

10)The men of Metalocalypse love the rotting corpse of a “Christmas Tree”

11)”Don’t Stop The Santa Man” or you will not have the world’s first Journey/Metallica/Santa Claus mashup by Rock Sugar. 

12) The bad snow numbs their throats , and things are looking “Darker” for The Doves

13) ”Somebody’s House Always Burns At Christmas”. Justin Vivian Bond knows it’s not only the chestnuts that are roasting this season.

14)South Parks’ Jebus sings to himself “Happy Birthday” as no one is there for him when he needs them

15) Little Cindy is just plain creepy as she sings “Happy Birthday Jesus( A Child’s Prayer)” .*Shudder*

16)Might as well throw up on the tree as ”Christmas is ruined”, so much, that even That 70’s Show is sick of this season. 

17)Paul and Storm don’t want to know what is in “Grandma’s Christmas Dinner “ 

18) Big Bang Theory knows that Frosty is a criminal and should be punished by the sun

19)Captain Picard makes it so, and sings “Let It Snow” . SHUT UP WESLEY! 

20)Eddie Murphy would like to welcome you to “Mr Robinson’s Neighborhood” so he can visit your home while you are away

21)”Santa Stole my Lady”, so sayeth Fitz & the Tantrums . That rosy cheeked bastard

22)The Big Bang Theory folks know that the Grinch really has a serious heart condition if it has grown three sizes 

23)Just Shoot Me, it’s Kelsey Grammer singing “How The Finch Stole Christmas”.

24)Charlie Harper has his own filthy,naughty take on some Christmas classics . Guess we know now how one out of every Two and A Half Men got AIDS. 

25)The Four Skins see that “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Syphilis” everywhere they ho

26)Have you heard the news?! Santa was kidnapped by the Martians!!!

27)Simon and Garfunkel listen to the”7 O’Clock News” on this “Silent Night”“ Greetings

28)The Gregory Brother’s “Jingle Bells” are sad and hanging low this holiday.

29)Pee Wee Herman has “Too Much Egg Nog” He is starting to hear reindeer on the roof,and you know what that means……

30) “Christmas is Now Drawing Near” in Coil’s cold traditional song

31) Neil Patrick Harris loves the way the season makes so many “lonely and desperate “

32)The Murder City Devils know it is only “364 Days” left till we have to do this silliness all over again.

33)Type O Negative had a bit too much of the ol’ “Red Water” this “(Christmas mourning)”

34)The season gets spooky as we celebrate another holiday tradition in the “Krampus Trailer”

35)Happy Fangs would be much happier if it was October again as just like them, “All I Want for Christmas is Halloween) 

36)Steve Martin has one…no wait..two….no……..make that three…….oh heck , “Five Holiday Wishes”

37) This Let It Snow parody has the sentiment right for the season…..”FUCK IT ALL! “

HazelRah's Halloween: This Mixtape Goes To Eleven

The Eleventh Mixtape ? Has it really been that long since this silliness started?

Welcome ,once again, to the seasonal celebration of all things Halloween with your host, HazelRah , and this moody mix of candy coated “carols” .

Do you wanna party? It’s PARTYTIME!

Please, come in and fix yourself a drink .We have Blood and Blood Lite.Or if you prefer…a nice Chianti. Join our very special guests: Elvira ,Mistress of the Dark doing her best Vincent Price and Vincent Price doing his best …Vincent Price.

Enjoy tributes to the Master Wes Craven as we say goodbye to any new nightmares he might have given us.

Take a step to the right onto the dancefloor with the Tenth Doctor as he Time Warps . (He’ll be here all night, try the veal, as He doesn’t want to go.)

Here be all types of zombies, werewolves(NOT swearwolves!), and other spooky sexy spirits.

Bless my eyes! There’s Sweeney Todd in the kitchen. Wonder what surprise he is cooking up with Doctor Lector?

So slip on your favorite skin and turn it up ,duuuude (IT’S FREEDOM ROCK!) as we spin the eleventh HazelRah Halloween Mixtape.

1) “Warning“ the intro at the Blood Diner can scare you

2) Enjoy John Carpenter’s “Halloween Theme”....IN A MAJOR KEY!!! So joyful….it’s SCARY!..

3) Wes Craven’s New Nightmare trailer . ( *sniffle*…..Hearing his voice ..*SOB*)

4) The Tiger Lillies are “Terrible” . I was recently reminded I had this song via a short film called “The Confession of Fred Krueger” .Check it out.

5) Have you ever tried a Community “Mexican Halloween”? It’s offensive

6) Just as offensive as Magnetic Field’s “Zombie Boy”

7) Pee Wee Herman sure does have a “Twisted Side”

8) Alice Cooper enjoys a good “Shockdance” with his pal Horace Pinker,another of Wes Craven’s creations. Listen closely and you just might hear Wes guest singing along during the chorus. Oh and the voice of Pinker? None other than X-Files Agent Walter Skinner, or Mitch Pileggi

9) Return of the Living Dead’s Skuz knows “You’re Dead and you’re going to turn into one of those things out there!”

10) Turbonegro laments that ” All My Friends Are Dead”

11) Stephen King wants to scare the hell out of you…..but he is going to have a hard road of it unless he goes into “Maximum Overdrive” (trailer)

12) Wax Audio mashups AC/DC vs Van Halen on this ,”The Devil’s Highway”

13) Beware ….The Astro Zombies …..trailer?

14) Tom Petty sings of all the goths down at the “Zombie Zoo”

15) The Venture Brothers speak of “Halloween Magic”

16) The Maine thing I wish for is if only it really could be “Forever Halloween”

17) Ghostland Observatory keep the beat bumping so you can keep “Dancing on my Grave”

18) Vincent Price invites you to his party at “The House on Haunted Hill” (trailer)

19) Karen Elson, speaks of “The Ghost Who Walks”

20) Sherlock Holmes knows that “When the dead walk, the living will fill these coffins “

21) The Raveonettes have seen “Apparitions”

22) Hannibal Lector enjoys “a nice chianti”

23) Colin Newman is all “Alone” in Buffalo Bill’s basement

24) Tones on Tail tremble in a “Movement of Fear”

25) It’s the “Night of the Living Dead” in this trailer for the George Romero remake

26) Norma Tanega warns that don’t sing ,they have no use for your song because “You’re Dead” 
27)Norman always does what Mother tells him, like eat his “Oatmeal Crisp” 1990 commercial

28) Stephen Lynch speaks of his best bud “Beelz”

29) What are we? “Werewolves,NOT swearwolves” .Damn skippy.

30) Tracy Jordon throws a wild “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah”

31) Morel Orel knows that the “Funnest Costumes” are holy things like generic angels

32) Phoebe Carter knows that’s bull ,nothing beats being “Spooky Sexy” .So Dress up as sexy Sadness from Inside Out

33) Fear the “Return of the Living Dead” (trailer), they’re not vegetarians

34) Elvira,Mistress of the Dark does her best Vincent Price in this Leslie & the Lyes “Zombie Killer” of a tune

35) The Bride of Frankenstein knows all too well that the “Night is Filled with Monsters”

36) “It Came in the Night” , I hope it remembered to wear ….A Raincoat.

37)Sweeney Todd is coming to the mixtape in this blipvert for the original Broadway production.
38) Do the “Time Warp” again with this Doctor Who parody

39) Billy and Mandy are off on a Grim Happy Halloween adventure, and to their horror discover they didn’t get a TREAT so now they must TRICK

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Hazel-Rah 

Horrorhound Indianapolis 2015 : It's Just a Dream. NO! It's a Nightmare!

This years Horrorhound in Indianapolis was an embarrassment of Nightmare on Elm Street riches. Gathered in one hotel were multiple performers from each of the many movies in the series.To say that I was excited for this event, would be quite the understatement. Nostalgic childhood memories flooded to the forefront all through the weekend.
       We had Dream Warriors,Dream Masters, and the Original Ladies of Elm Street, Amanda Wyss and Heather Langenkamp to just name a few.Oh and yes, the gloved one , himself was there, calling random strangers "Bitch"( a popular request,apparently) and cackling all the way to the bank.
Sadly , this event fell just days shy of the passing of the man who started it all :Wes Craven. While spirits were high, and fun was to be had, there were moments of solemness . Robert Englund signed a Wes Tribute poster : "My Dr. Frankenstein, Thanks for creating me,giving me life-Freddy". Wes was in the hearts and minds of many a movie goer over this weekend, with favorite stories shared and tears shed.
       The Original A Nightmare On Elm Street has always been a big part of my movie watching life. So my attendance at this event was a given the moment the first wave of guests were announced.
        A personal goal for the weekend was to have my complete collection of original Elm Street movie scripts signed, by,of course, the gloved one , and any star in attendance.
       Mission accomplished! A time consuming task ,as Robert was only signing two items per person and in order to even get that you had to claim a ticket to get in that line in the first place.This required getting in a line at 8 am to beat the crowd. A very special thanks to Robert and his assistant,Jessica, at his table who allowed me to slip in a third and final item on the very last day during Roberts last hour.Thus completing my collection of Nightmare On Elm Street scripts signed, sealed, and delivered to my bookshelf.
       An amusing aspect of the weekend was the number of times one of the stars remarked at the uniqueness of my script.Many didn't even still have a copy of their own. Several gave me their addresses and asked if I would send them a copy. A request I was able to fulfill by finding a late night place to make copies and then present them the gift the very next day. For offering to do this in the first place ,they even signed my items for free.
Robert Englund, a man who always seems to have a story to tell from his career , shared a fascinating story about one of his fellow "actors" who was in fact a MI-5 agent working undercover as an actor, who had appeared in Mr Englund's retelling of Phantom of the Opera.This story was sparked by my request for Robert to sign my POTO script.Robert even kindly gave me a signed Phantom photo for free.
     This being the second time I have had the pleasure of meeting Robert,Amanda and Heather , I was excited to have a whole new selection of actors from the Original Cast to not only sign my special items, but to thank them personally for the hours upon hours of entertainment and inspiration to my imagination their work has been.
     This event allowed me to add the signatures of Nick Corri(Rod Lane), Ronee Blakely(Nancy's Mom,Marge) to my script, original movie poster, and the Never Sleep Again book that I had a hand in Kickstarting to life. To have the Dream Warriors reunite for one last group on the cover of my NOES 3 script.From Dream Master to Freddys Dead, I was able to acquire many a sig.,shake hands and say a personal thanks for the years of entertainment.
     I had the honor of presenting both Amanda and Heather a small token of appreciation in the form of a gift bag of goodies which included : A bottle of red wine,a bag of Godiva chocolate,variety of colored pens for signing(as they go through them fast at these events), A favorite hardcover book( to return, in a small way, the entertainment they have provided), Icy Hot( for those tired hands and shoulders that are made weary from a full day of signing) , A mini "hotel sized" Zen garden kit ( for relaxing after a day with the unwashed masses),a personal letter to each of the Ladies, and what turned out to be my Horrorhound Weekend Mixtape.
    Inspired by my now annual Halloween seasonal mixtapes(good grief this year will mark #11), I put together a sort of best of in celebration of the Horrorhound weekend.A last minute thought as I put them together a few days before the event, I selected random songs from each previous Halloween mixtape.There were thoughts about picking a song connected to each movie , but that would have ended up as being mostly score tracks.
   The thought behind the Horrorhound Mixtape was for it to be handed out to random strangers throughout the weekend. I ended up giving most of them to anyone who was kind enough to assist me in taking pictures of myself with a guest as a Thank You.

Below is the tracklist :

1) Homer Simpson warns us that the following show is very scary....in this Treehouse of Horrors soundbite
2)Golden Tusk add lyrics to the iconic John Carpenter Halloween theme to tell the tale of Michael and Laurie
3) Celldweller-add some rock to John Carpenter's Halloween theme
4)Where Wolf?...There...There Wolf,There Castle-Young Frankenstein Soundbite
5)"Midnight Moon"- Like when peanut butter meets chocolate,LeeDM101 Mashsups together M83 vs CCR
6)NIGHT OF THE LEPUS! trailer AHHHHHH Bunnies!! RUN AWAY...RUN AWAY!!!
7)"Mr Splitfoot"-Paris Motel's devil of a tune
8)Pennywise the dancing clown is an eater of worlds ...and of children.And you're NEXT!
9)"Can't Sleep ,Clowns Will Eat Me" -Alice Cooper knows personally what terror hides behind those shiny red noses.No-Doz anyone?
10)Riff Raff invites you to the Rocky Horror Picture Show in this radio commercial.Don't forget to wear your finest garter belts and stockings.
11)"R U Gonna be my TV?" - It's Jet vs Tim Curry in this Sweet Transvestive of a mashup
12)Ghostface wants to see what your insides look like
13)"Sneakyville" -Secession sing of scary white faced creatures in the night
14)Linus knows three things never to discuss with people :religion ,politics and the Great Pumpkin
15)"All Hallows Eve"- Incubus Sukkubus sing a spirited song of the season
16)All Johnette Naplolitano needs tonight is one "Full Moon".Halloween and Trick or treat, the night is dark and sweet.
17)The Editors cover the Cure with this "Lullaby" to Spiders
18)Sharaon Needles knows that "Everyday is Halloween"
19)Alice Cooper has an important Halloween message in this PSA
20)The Ghosts sing a song of "Trick or Treat" to Donald Duck
21)Elvira, Mistress of the Dark Knows a thing or two about "Trick or Treat".Have you seen her two big pumpkins?
22)Elvira knows the proper way to carve a pumpkin....with a chainsaw!!
23)The Greenskeepers tell you what to do with that bottle of "Lotion". Yes,Precious.
24)Chicken Lips calls the Student Bodies Principal....*click*
25)"Too Bad You're Crazy"- Jerry Whitman ,You're looney as hell
26)You are a bold and courageous person to enter the haunted house
27)The Rifftones know what waits you inside "The House on Haunted Hill"
28)Stephen Lynch thinks the kiddies on "Halloween" are just delicious
29)The Kids of Elm Street dont know it yet ,but they are in for a NIGHTMARE in this film trailer
30)"Do the Freddy"....or not.....really....Let's just pretend this never happened
31) Whew , that was terrible.Principal Skinner saves the day with a sprinkle of some amnesia dust.
32)Vincent Price gives good advice on how to clean your bath laboratory
33)Christopher Walken reads us "Poe's The Raven" for a little bedtime story
34)"Rise up Ye Buried Gentlemen" it's almost Halloween -so say Sindy Skinless and the Decomposers
35) "I...AM.....Dracula" ..and you're not
36) Jason Segal knows the pain of "Dracula's Lament
37)Klaato...... Barrada ....necktie

O Hannibal! My Hannibal!

Our fearful trip is (almost) done.
 Hannibal has but eight episodes left to air.

And this leaves me sad. Not since Twin Peaks has a shows entire makeup made me smile so broadly in satisfaction. The visuals, the writing....that score! And soon, it will be over . To quote another Bryan Fuller creation...."Why can't I have nice things?"

Still, three seasons are nice things to have, rather than nothing like it at all. And just like David Lynch's show, what future programs will be inspired by this work? What new wave of programs are being dreamed up in the minds of someone out there obsessing over every last frame of this work of art?

And still..........what will we see before the end?
We know that the storyline of Red Dragon will be touched upon..the casting of Francis Dolarhyde has unfortunately been leaked.Yet another surprise stolen,thank you internets.Though how deep it is indulged in is now really suspect, as this show likes to introduce threads that are payed off one or two seasons later. How soon did the writers know of the shows demise? And are they writing or rewriting a Season 3 finale that gives enough viewer closure, or will the many questions be left untouched like that weird green jello salad side dish at a tacky Thanksgiving dinner?

And what of Bedelia? So much we do not know of her.So little time to discover. Why is she so compelled to be complicit in Hannibal's cannibalism? Does she really enjoy living in terror as Hannibal's "wife"?Even with her background in psychology, she does not seem afraid to , and almost seems to get some pleasure out of, verbally poking the bear.Hannibal certainly enjoys making her relive that which troubles her thoughts by constantly taking lives in front of her and then serving them up with a good wine.
What of that Carmen Sandiego outfit she favors?Is she sending a signal to whomever might be watching? Her pattern purchases a silent cry for help? Or does she secretly hope that one day Hannibal will take her to dinner because she can not live with what she has done, but can not do the deed herself. Sadly, even if the show were to continue, we would have likely to have lost Gillian Anderson to the revival of the X-files.

The capture of Hannibal is sure to be upon us in an episode or two. With a final confrontation on the home soil of our ...umm, heroes?...as Hannibal is dragged back to the good ol' U.S.of A.

Will there be a time jump after the capture of Hannibal and "rescue" from Mason Verger's hungry pigs ? A rescue that I suspect Alana Bloon is planning all along despite her conspiratory engagement with Mason. I am beginning to believe that she has chosen to use Verger and his money to do that which the FBI could not , and bring Hannibal home.

This leap in timeline would allow for our characters some time for their wounds to scar over and for certain events in their lives to occur off screen so we may get to the drama and red stuff quicker.

I'm picturing that in this fade to black, cut to the future edit we will emerge on the other side with Hannibal behind the glass on display, Will Graham married with child and a host of survivors occasionally picking at their scabs.

This would give time for off screen events leading up to the Tooth Fairy introduction.Time for him to leave his (bite) mark and draw enough attention. Time enough for Will Graham to try to move beyond the ends of the last three seasons.GRRR ARRGH!! We have so little time left!

 With the emergence of The Tooth Fairy, this would allow us as viewers to witness Will Graham in "action" one more time, observing Dolarhyde's design.Would we also see a return to the Hannibal /Will Graham "therapy" sessions, this time separated by glass? And a few years.

It would also allow for us to see our old crime scene investigator friends as they work over a Dolarhyde diorama.While these death tableuas would lack the visual punch of a "Minnesota Shrike" ,they would at least afford us an opportunity to see these actors in action before the curtain falls. And what of Freddie Lounds? What trouble has she been up to since we last saw her fake corpse on fire?Has she been in hiding? How has Hannibal said "Welcome back to the land of the living" to her?

I  would love to see an entire episode in Hannibal's "Mind Palace" as he passes the time while imprisoned. The potential of that playground in this shows visual and writing standards gives me shivers .

One aspect that I have always admired of this show is the manner in which they take very well known storyline,character and visual beats and manage to create a completely new song. This is no cover version.In a entertainment world where the remake and sequel are king,and even though this entire story has been told twice before, the unwillingness to rely on what went before is a testament that not all imagination and creativity are dead.

Even though the Silence of the Lambs storyline is off limits due to copyright issues, I wonder how close they will come to Clarice in the end? Will they use the Sterling homage in the form of Miriam Lass? I would love to see Miriam on the out side of the glass , confronting Hannibal in his cage.The last time Lass thought she was across from her kidnapper, she shot the side of that mans face off.The dynamic of that potential dialogue gives me goosebumps..

Honestly, part of me hopes the last scene is a frontal shot of Hannibal's face as he stands, prim and proper, and waits to greet an offscreen Clarice Starling .We hear a female voice introduce herself ( and would it be an awesome get , if it was voiced by guest voice actor, Jodie Foster?) and Hannibal smiles and says " Hello, Clarice..." fade to black.

Michael Rennie was ill .......

      Michael Rennie was ill the day.......He heard that FOX was planning to remake the Rocky Horror Picture Show!!! (arrgh! ,new callback)
Pardon the incoherence of this blog , but the mind is racing and it's almost catching up with the pulse. I'm disappointed by the thought of this remake being made and it's hard to contain the desire to punch things other than the keys on this board.. Ok.....take a deep breath....jump to the left ....aaaaaaaaaaand GO!
      Must we remake ,re imagine ,redo EVERYTHING?!?! It's like everything that was good is now crap again. I know that this happens every generation in film. Old stories that worked once are rejigged for a modern audience with bigger budgets and a knudge,knudge wink winking eye to casting. But seriously folks? This movie??
        Don't get me wrong , I have a special place in the black hole where my heart used to be for all things Rocky Horror. The years i spent on stage as Riff-Raff have many a fond memory attached to them ( well, the ones i can still recall , that is). There is something to be said to the feeling one evokes when an entire audience of 300-500 plus people all laugh at something you did spontaneously for a joke. And the things I got away with while hosting the preshow.....( it's a wonder I didn't spend some time in jail.HA,  ...ahh mammories.
       Here's a question .....Why not do a modern day direct SEQUEL? Written by Richard O'Brien. He has several versions on paper, and the few I have been privileged to have read are quite amusing in their own way. One, that was intended to be the first direct sequel, before budget constraints and casting issues arose , became the film known as Shock Treatment.  In the original version, Dr Scott ,and his assistant Brad  had set up a cabin next to the crater left by the castle taking off . It is there that they  had found Franks abandoned body. And upon Frank's awakening he utters the line " I haven't a thing to wear to my resurrection"  ans slips into the Shock Treatment song now known as "Little Black Dress" ..........."ever since I was a little boy....dressing up has always been...my greatest joy.
     Years later, O'Brien penned another sequel idea called "Revenge of the Old Queen". the movie was to have a tag line "Keep Watching The Showers!!" Good cheeky fun.
According to reports, this new version will be a two hour made for TV movie. This idea was batted around already once before ,years ago ,with MTV planning a version. Both were stated as using the original Richard O'Brien script for their basis and not some random authors rewrite. Yet, Made for TV? how can this work without major changes to character elements and complete scenes because of standards and practices? Even when the movie was aired on VH-1 for decades it still had to be edited for content. This movie was never that naughty or explicit. The only nudity was from various statues and one intentional nip slip from Columbia. And before the callbacks, only one "FUCK" was given.
    And what of the singing?  *SHUDDER* What dreadful auto-tunage will our bleeding ears be tortured by?
       Now, I know it may seem ridiculous to get all worked up over a "new" version of a movie. Especially when I have absolutely no issue with the various versions of the play that continue to be performed to this day. I've seen the play in live context multiple times and never once felt like they were pissing on a personal memory.
       The play and movie was a collaborative effort. Developed over time with influence brought in from all corners of the crew.From costumes to set design, everyone brought something more to the production from their love of the genre. This enthusiasm translated to attracting large audiences to the play in it's original run. Audience members that included notable guests such as Vincent Price, who attended the opening night, and David Bowie who returned multiple times.
       But I still don't get it ?Why this? Why now? It barely worked the first time even though it was something special. A once in a while kind of movie whose AUDIENCE found it and made it their own. You can't make something like this work twice. You can't intentionally make a cult movie. Rocky Horror as a movie was a failure the first time around .The film was close to being lost in the dusty vaults forever. It wasn't until a year after its initial release when one smart theater manager started showing it as a Midnight Movie that the excitement for this strange piece of celluloid started to slowly grow.
      Rocky Horror didn't always have the front of screen antics and in house call backs. This developed over time , by the people who fell in love with the movie and its multiple homages to other movies that were already close to their hearts .Its music, simple yet effective earworms that made you smile. Its message of be it, don't dream it,no matter how strange and wonderful you are. These folks kept coming back week after week because this movie spoke to them. Who is this new version going to speak to?
        Watching a movie in the comfort of ones home is quite different than in the dark of a theater surrounded by strangers sharing an experience. A made for TV version will never give birth to another fabulous Dori Hartley. The audience member to immerse herself so completely into the costume and role of Frank-N-Furter that she became the first Rocky Horror cosplayer. Her need to breathe through this character,  so much so that she dressed, spoke and evoked the presence of Frank when ever in costume , probably inspired the whole cosplay genre by her love for all things Frank. It certainly inspired the first Rocky audiences, who joined her in the fun by dressing as other members of the movie, which in turn led to members of the audience acting out scenes here an there  to the eventual putting on a show of the entire movie while it played in the background. Once again, returning the movie to its spiritual theater roots.
      What of the callbacks?Ever try to do the callbacks in between commercial breaks?Not fun. The whole joy of call backs is the talking back n forth with the screen for humorous effect,  and even going back and forth with other audience members sitting on the other side of the theater. Long before the days of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ,this aspect of the Rocky Horror experience is stated as being started by Louis Farese Jr, who instructed our dear Janet to invest in a umbrella.And it has snowballed from there to the point that even the end credits get the once over. Might the RH audiences have been an indirect inspiration for the idea of MST3K? Sure, we have all commented aloud to bad films we have suffered though , but could the fervor with which RH audiences brought to the experience have helped pop the original kernel of an idea of doing it from start to finish of a film?  Ridiculously , the filmmakers of the original RH  were asked if they left all of those quiet moments in the film especially for the purpose of call backs. Will the new version make their movie with callbacks in mind? Forcing "humor" ? Try too hard to be self referential and step on the beats?
       Why not just go see the original? It's not going to work a second time as a film. Partially, I believe, because the audience who "got it" the first go around doesn't exist today. RH was a musical play created by Richard O'Brien out of his own love for 50's Sci-Fi/Horror movies that he watched growing up, good ol' Rock n Roll music, with a dash of repressed gender issues thrown in for good measure. And the audiences who embraced this musical/movie shared some of these interests. Whom would most likely be the target audience for this movie? This story has themes about being different and embracing that aspect of yourself. What the fuck does FOX know about being different? Every different show they ever produce they mishandled and allowed to get cancelled too soon.(FIREFLY, anyone?) And what does Fox know about music? They know as much as MTV. Or have we forgotten the horror that was Glee? Will the songs be revamped for a modern generation? Eddie going to come out and rap this time? Will the Time Warp go techno??Will Science Fiction,Double Feature become five minutes of song with another five minutes of Pariah Carey-esque vocalizing over the melody???
       Do B-Movie 50-'s sci-fi audiences exist today with younger generations, without the irony? Sure, the DVDs are out there, the movies can be found via streaming sites, and even MST3K has given long lost catastrophes exposure so one can discover these movies today. But growing up watching that genre in glorious black an white every Saturday afternoon after a morning of sugar fueled cartoon watching was something different.Kids are not exposed to this genre as much these days so the references  in the text will not have as much meaning. Even locations and camera angles used in the original film were direct homages to moments from the movies that inspired the play in the first place.
      Even the cheapness of the sets, most likely due to budget constrains, are part of the charm and work as direct winks to the past. A bigger budget and fancier costumes will not evoke the same feeling. And heaven help us from the overuse of CGI for any or all special effects. I will sadly miss the lasers by magic marker effect of the original.
      Then there is the gender bending aspect of the original story. Today's audiences have had much more exposure to guys in makeup and fishnets. It is not something that is spoken in whispers anymore. Back in it's day, the sight of Frank was still something of a surprise, not something you saw everyday hanging out at the campus coffee shop. Today there are entire shows devoted to the art of cross dressing. As Jane said, Nothings shocking.
       Casting is still in process but a director has been chosen.  A Kenny Ortega, known for directing something called High School Musical and for having done the choreography for such classics as Xanadu. Let's just take a moment to imagine what Joss Whedon could bring to a movie like this.
       And while we are on the subject of casting...just who the heck thinks they can fill the high heels of Tim Curry? Sure, Anthony Stewart Head did a impressive job on the London stage.But can lightning strike thrice?Much like Hedwig, too often the character of Frank is performed as if a drag queen, which is not what the character is supposed to be. You can't just put any "pretty face" in the role. Which is another fear of this upcoming production. Will this be another wash of airbrushed faces, boob implants and flavors of the month? Part of the charm of the original cast was that it consisted of unknowns. No public personality to get in the way of getting lost in the movie. their faces were not perfect, but beautifully unique. Their bodies not sculpted, well, excusing Rocky Horror's of course. the each seemed to fit the part they played. and not just due to the right makeup or costuming. Especially costuming, as most of it comes of in course of the movie.
     The casting will be key to this even coming close to working. I imagine it will be cast with a focus on current recognizable performers rather than finding someone who is right for the part. I'll admit, while griping and groaning momentarily over this planned piece of craptacularness, I can not help play a little of the casting game: Christopher Eccleston as Riff Raff? James Lipton as the Criminologist? Amy Sedaris as Columbia? Eddie Izzard as Dr Scott?Jack Black as Eddie?  Jim Henson's Muppet Babies as the Transylvanians? 
      Hopefully , this pile of dung will lose it's steam as before, as this is the second time a remake has been proposed.
      Ugh, I need a drink of Riff's homemade table wine.

      P.S. Ever wonder where Rocky Horror got his blonde hair from ? Next time you watch Sweet Transvestite...pay attention to what Frank does when he sings the line " I've been making a man with blonde hair and a tan"...he plays with Riffs hair,while Riff shoots him a glare ....and Riff just happens to be missing roughly the same sized patch of hair that Rocky Horror now sports. And you wondered why Riff hated and tortured Rocky so.  Yes, I've thought about this movie too much to notice theses things. HA 

No....but I've read the movie

Before the VCR and other home media(laserdisc anyone?), before the ad nausea repeat nature of cable (HEY!Beastmaster is On) or the "at your fingertips" accessibility of streaming, once a movie left the theater, you might never get to experience it again.

Periodically, if the movie was a successful hit, it would return to the theaters for an anniversary showing. If a genre favorite, the film might make the rounds of conventions or themed film marathons.  But more often, once the reel ran out and the house lights came up: Th-th-th-tha-tha-tha-that's all, folks!

Enter...the Novelization!

For decades now, the novelization has been another media tie in for the ever growing ways to market and merchandise a movie. A close relative to the  novelization is the official movie magazine that was sometimes sold in the lobby at the popcorn stand. I recall fondly owning the official Goonies magazine. And if those were not enough, we've even seen "fotonovels",full of  pages and pages of screen captured images with dialogue bubbles telling the story. View Masters with 3-D dioramas. Read along story 45's.Entire movies represented from start to finish in book form via hundreds of black and white photos taken directly from the screen image. And sequels and prequels for unfilmed stories.

Now,Imagine,as a child, watching a beloved movie like Star Wars (A New Hope here people, keep up,lets not discuss that other tragedy of a trilogy) on the big screen during it's original release in the late 70's. Knowing that in a short time it will be gone and you may never see it again. Sure , you have the toys to recreate the story and your own sugar pop cereal fueled Saturday morning imagination to expand the universe. But its only three more weeks till the summers over and you've only seen the movie fifteen times.WHAT TO DO?!?!

So to your surprise ,what do you see on the book shelf of your local library but your favorite movie's poster image emblazoned on the cover of a paperback. You check it out , eager to go on the same adventure you enjoyed.  But wait...what's this? this wasn't in the movie???  And she didn't say that?? whats going on here?

I have a fascination towards movie novelizations . The strange transformation from movie to book, vs the more traditional book to film.That literary opportunity to re-immerse yourself in the 'verse's entertainment. As many times as you wished. No longer having to wait for that possible glimpse of the edited for television pan and scan version to grace your home screen.Though, with the countless original novels out there  that could be turned into a movie, why write a book on something that already exists as a finished product?

I think my first novelization was for the movie TRON. With a close second being for the movie E.T.

I've always assumed that the novelization is written in that short period of post production near a films completion and future release.Likely, along the lines of a four to six week time-frame. Hurriedly, the hired writer plunks down at the keyboard and tries to get from point A to point B all the while giving the characters internal monologues a voice. Why the screenwriter never seems to be hired to flesh out the novelization is a strange choice. Wouldn't the one who created the story in the first place know the devil of the details?The hired writer has no idea what the finished product looks like as  they are handed a script, a selection of stills or production art and sent away with a release date deadline. Imagine someone trying to write a novelization for a David Lynch movie before seeing the finished product

Often, the adaption is from an early version of the script.I've discovered some novelizations that bear only a  passing resemblance to the final product.Most seem to be written without director notes of changes that were made due to budgetary constraint or artistic whims. Whole scenes might be missing from the book.And complete sequences may be in it's place.
Granted,for the writer,  the action and plot are already predetermined, Though too often,the writers goal is to make sense out of odd narrative moments and unspoken character motivations.These books can sometimes lead to fascinating insights into a films production history.

Occasionally the book is released before the movie . Why the rush? I've never heard of a novelization ever building excitement for a film. Before, or after it's release. Supposedly, the Disney Dick Tracy movie was released as a novelization without an actual last chapter so as not to spoil a big reveal only to be published later with the final chapter.Yes, some novelizations have been released more than once. Sometimes decades apart (i.e. Grease). The novelization for the Tim Curry movie ,Clue, actually had all three filmed endings as seen on the screen with the scripted fourth ending that has yet to see the light of DVD. Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula saw a novelization of his version of Bram Stoker's Dracula. Think about that one for a second.....there is a novelization...based off the screenplay.....based off the original book.

Once a fairly popular release , the modern novelization tends to favor the big summer blockbusters. No more do those weird cult movies or low budget art house creations get the special extra treatment.  In the past, we have seen novelizations for such cult movies and musicals like Phantom of the Paradise, ridiculous sequels,Grease 2, and even porn ,Deep Throat. And still today,some movies are receiving retroactive novelizations decades after the films original release.Despite the instant gratification accessibility of having a movie mere months after its theatrical release, this genre of books prevails.
And as long as they keep making them, I will probably be foolishly inclined to buy them .
Below is a testament to that last statement.....my ever growing list of literary lunacy..

Last Update August 2018:

6th Day
  9 to 5
  30 Days of Night
  58 Minutes
  101 Dalmations
  2001 : A Space Odyssey
  Making of Kubricks 2001
  The Abyss
  The Accused
  The Addams Family
  Addams Family Values
  The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai
  Air Force One
  Airport 77
  Alias, Madame Doubtfire
  Alien
  Alien (Special Edition, inside cover says Young Adult Edition)
  Aliens
  Alien 3
  Alien Resurrection
  Alien Covenant
  Alien Nation
  Altered States ( not technically a novelization)
  Amazing Stories Volume II
  American Gigolo
  American Graffiti (presented as a script with photo illustrations)
  Amityville 3D
  Apollo 13 ( not a novelization,previously titled Lost Moon)
  April Fool's Day ( signed by Amy Steel  I asked her to sign it
  "Final Girls are made of STEEL, Amy Steel"
  Arachnophobia
  The A-Team
  Back to The Future Parts I,II & III
  Bad News Bears
  Bad News Bears in Breaking Training
  Bad Seed ( Not technically a novelization)
  Basic Instinct
  Batman ( Tim Burton )
  Batman Returns
  Batman Begins   The Dark Knight
  The Dark Knight Rises
  Batteries Not included
  Battlestar Galactica
  Battlestar Galactica :photostory
  The Beatles in Help ,Yellow Submarine
  Big
  Blackbeards Ghost (Disney film )
  The Black Hole
  Blade
  Blair Witch Project :"fotonovel"
  Blair Witch Files : #3 The Drowning Ghost
                  #5 The Death Card   
  The Blob
  The Blues Brothers
  The Bodyguard
  Boogeyman
  Brain Damage
  The Bride
  Buffy The Vampire Slayer ( based off of Joss Whedon's script)
  Burnt Offerings ( not a novelization)
  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
  Cabin in the Woods
  The Cable Guy
  The Cannonball Run
  Cape Fear (formerly titled the Executioners, not a novelization)
  Capricorn One
  Cat People
  Child's Play 2
  Child's Play 3
  China Syndrome
  Clash of the Titans
  Close Encounters of the Third Kind
  Close Encounters of the Third Kind :Special Edition (revised to include new Director's Cut scenes )
  Close Encounters of the Third Kind "fotonovel"
  Close Encounters of the Third Kind Diary
  CLUE ( With the fourth possible ending that was part of the original script-which I own as well)
  CLUE The Storybook(A Picture book version that includes a map of the house)
  Cocktail
  Cocoon
  Condorman
  Creature From the Black Lagoon
  CFTBL: Time's Black Lagoon
  CFTBL: #5 Black Water Horror
  Crimson Peak
  The Crow : City of Angels
  Dark City
  Dark Crystal
  Darkman
  Dark Star
  Dawn of the Dead
  The Day After Tomorrow
  The Day the Earth Stood Still
  Dead Poets Society
  Deep Throat (Yes, there is a novelization for that movie, go figure?)
  Desperately Seeking Susan
  Dick Tracy
  Die Hard (originally published as Nothing Lasts Forever)
  58 Minutes( inspiration for Die Hard 2 )
  Die Hard with a Vengeace
  Dirty Harry
  Dracula ( ok get this one......it's a novelization......of the screenplay.... of the novel by  Bram Stoker)
  Dragonslayer
  Dressed to Kill
  Dungeon & Dragons
  Earthquake
  Eddie and the Cruisers
  El Cid
  The Elephant Man
  Embryo
  Enemy Mine
  Escape From New York ( two covers, one illustrated, another Kurt Russell photo)
  eXistenZ
  Making of Exorcist II : The Heretic
  Exorcist-The Beginning
  Explorers
  E.T
  E.T."sequel" : The Book of the Green Planet
  Letters to E.T.
  Eyes of Laura Mars
  Fame
  Famous Monsters of Filmland : Best From
  Fantastic Voyage  ( and the unfilmed sequel FV II: Destination Brain)
  Ferris Bueller's Day Off
  Fierce Creatures
  The Final Cut
  Fifth Element
  Final Fantasy : The Spirits Within
  The Fisher King
  Fly Away Home  
  The Funhouse ( written by Dean Koontz as Owen West )
  Flash Gordon
  Flatliners
  Fletch (Not a novelization)
  The Fog
  Foul Play
  Friday the 13th
  Friday the 13th Part 2
  Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3-D (Michael Avallone)
  Friday the 13th Part 6 ( signed by the actor who performed Jason: C. J. Graham, )
  The Frighteners
  Fright Night
  Fugitive ( Harrison Ford movie )
  The Funhouse (Dean Koontz writing as Owrn West)
  Galaxy Quest
  Ghostbusters
  Ghostbusters II
 Ghostbusters(2016)
  Godzilla (2014)
  The Good Son
  The Goonies
  Grease , one of those rare novelizations that has actually been
    published twice, '78 and '98
  Grease :Fotonovel
  Grease 2
  Gremlins
  Gremlins 2
  Hackers
  Halloween
  Halloween II
  Halloween III
  Halloween IV
  The Hand
  Harold & Maude
  Harry and the Henderson
  Heartbeeps
  Heaven Can Wait
  Hellboy
  Hellboy 2: Golden Army
  High Anxiety
  Highlander
  Hills Have Eyes 2
  Hook
  Howard the Duck
  Howling (not a novelization ) , as well as II & III
  Hudson Hawk
  Identity
  Independence Day
  Indiana Jones : Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom & The Last Crusade
  Making of Raiders of the Lost Ark
  Innerspace
  Invaders From Mars ( based off the Dan O'Bannon script)
  Invasion of the Body Snatchers (foto-novel)
  Iron Man
  Iron Man 2
  Jazz Singer
  Jaws 2
  Jaws 2 Log
  Jaws the Revenge
  The Jerk 
  Judge Dredd
  Karate Kid I & II
  The Killing Fields
  King Kong ( both the original and the Peter Jackson versions)
  Kingdom of the Spiders
  Kramer vs Kramer
  Krull
  Labyrinth
  Ladyhawke
  Last Starfighter
  Lifeforce
  Logan's Run ( not a novelization) and Logan's Search &  Logan's World
 The Lords of Flatbush
  Lord of the Rings Foto-novel
 The Lost Boys
 Lost in Space
 Love Bug  & Herbie Rides Again
 Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
Magic (Not a novelization)
Manhatten Project
Man Who Fell to Earth ( not a novelization)
Mars Attacks!
Mask-Jim Carrey
Mask-Cher
Men in Black
Meteor
Midnight Madness
Mission Impossible '96
Moment by Moment (A Travolta/Lily Tomlin movie I have NEVER heard of before)
Monkey Shines
Monty Pythons Life of Brian
Moonraker
Mork & Mindy a novel  & a Mork & Mindy  video novel
Mortal Kombat
The Mummy
The Munsters
Murder By Death
My Science Project
National Lampoon's Class Reunion foto-novel
Natural Born Killers
Nightmares on Elm Street Parts 1,2,3 : The Continuing Story , plus
Freddy Krueger A Life short story
The Nightmares on Elm Street parts 4 & 5
Wes Craven's New Nightmare
Freddy vs Jason
Night of the Living Dead
Return of the Living Dead ( both the original John Russo sequel that takes place after George A. Romero's movie and the Dan O'Bannon versions . Signed by the Author)
Nightwing
Nosferatu
Notes by Eleanor Coppola ,Apocalypse Now diary
Oceans 11
On Golden Pond
Oh,Heavenly Dog
Oh,God
The Omen
Damien Omen II
The Final Conflict
Omen IV & V
One Hundred and One Dalmations
On Golden Pond
Outbreak
Pacific Rim
Panic Room
Phantom of the Paradise
The Pink Panther Strikes Again
Pitch Black
Planet of the Apes
Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Escape from the Planet of the Apes
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
Battle for the Planet of the Apes
Planet of the Apes : Tim Burton version
Spaceballs: THE BOOK(got this one from my Father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate)
Space Camp
Spawn
Speed 2
Spider-Man I,2 & 3
Spies Like Us
Splash
Splinter of the Minds Eye
Stargate
Starman
Making of Star Trek ( TV show)
ST:Trouble with Tribbles
Making of Star Trek the Motion Picture
Making of Star Trek II: Wrath of Kahn
Star Trek :The Wrath of Khan  and the foto-novel
Star Wars : Trilogy
Star Wars : Once Upon a Galaxy : A Journal of the making of the Empire Strikes Back
The Making of Return of the Jedi
The Sting
Supergirl
Superman : Last Son of Krypton & Miracle Monday
Superman III
Superman IV
Sugarland Express
Swamp Thing
Switchback
Tales from the Crypt 1972
Tales from the Crypt :Demon Knight
Tales from the Darkside : Volume One (TV series)
Taxi Driver
The End (Burt Reynolds)
The Terminator
The Terminator 2 : Judgement Day
The Terminator 3 : Rise of the Machines
The Thing
THX 1138
The Time Bandits
Titan A.E.
Tomb Raider
Top Gun
Total Recall
Tron
True Lies
Twelve monkeys
Twilight Zone : The Movie
Twister
Vampires ( not a novelization, inspiration for John Carpenter film)
Van Helsing
Videodrome
Virus
Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea
War Games
Warlock
Warriors
Waterworld
West Side Story
When Worlds Collide
After Worlds Collide
Willow
Willard
Ben
Witness
The X Files : Fight the Future
The X Files : I Want to Believe
Yellow Submarine
Young Frankenstein
Zorro (George Hamilton)

NON Novelization Media Tie-ins :



Elvira Mistress of the Dark : The Boy Who Cried Werewolf: SIGNED by Elvira(Cassandra Peterson)
Elvira Mistress of the Dark : Camp Vamp: SIGNED by Elvira(Cassandra Peterson)
Elvira Mistress of the Dark : Transylvania 90210 : SIGNED by Elvira(Cassandra Peterson)

Laverne & Shirley-Teamwork,Easy Money,Gold Rush
Nightmares on Elm Street : Freddy Krueger's Seven Sweetest Dreams
A Nightmare on Elm Street : Protege,Suffer the Children,Dreamspawn,
The Dream Dealers, Perchance to Dream
Freddy Krueger's Tales of Terror : Blind Date , Fatal Games
,Virtual Terror,Twice Burned
Friday the 13th : Mother's Day , Jason's Curse
Hamlet II : Ophelia's Revenge
Planetfall
Kings Quest : The Floating Castle, Kingdon of Sorrow
Wishbringer
The Zork Chronicles
The Lost City of Zork
Zork : Conquest at Quendor
Unofficial guide to the West Wing Inside Bartlet's White House
Monk : Firehouse, Hawaii, Blue Flu
Welcome Back, Kotter : The Super Sweathogs, the Sweathogs Newshawks
War of the Worlds : The Resurrection
Xena : Empty Throne , Huntress and the Sphinx, the Thief of
Hermes,Prophecy of Darkness
V : Original novel
V The Second Generation
V : East Coast Crisis
V:The Pursuit of Diana
V:Chicago Conversion
V:The Florida Project
V:Prisoners and Pawns
V:Alien Sowrdmaster
V:The Crivit Experiment
V:The New England Resistance
V:Death Tide
V:The Texas Run
V:Path to Conquest
V:To Conquer the Throne
V:The Oregon Invasion
V:Symphony of Terror
V:Below the Threshold
The Panic Broadcast : Whole story of Orson Welles radio showra
Resident Evil 2 :Calinban Cove
RE: 3: City of the Dead
RE :4 Underworld
RE:5 : Nemesis
RE: Code Veronica
RE: The Umbrella Conspiracy
Red Dwarf: Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers
Darkman 1: The Hangman
Darkman 2: Price of Fear
Darkman 3: Gods of Hell
Darkman 4: In the Face of Death
Shadow
Indiana Jones : Dance of the Giants
                       : and the the White Witch
                       : and the Philosopher's Stone
                       : and the Unicorn's Legacy
                       : and the Army of the Dead
                       : and the Interior World
                       : and the Peril at Delphi
                       : and the Sky Pirates
                       : and the Dinosaur Eggs
                       : and the Seven Veils
                       : and the Genesis DEluge
                       : and the Secret of the Sphinx
                       : and the Hollow Earth